Dear Rachael Ray,

As a long time supporter and fan and a weekly viewer of your talk show, I must admit to being ashamed and disappointed while watching today's segment on "Body Parts That Age You." For a woman who promotes health and well being, particularly for women and their families, I don't understand how you could feature and promote such ideas on your program. Woman today are already obsessed with weight, overwrought with concerns about their breasts, love handles, and backsides, and now we need to worry about our earlobes (at 1500 dollars a pop, no less!)? Once I heard Dr. Drew Ordon say that he feels bad for women with cankles, I shut the TV off. I had had enough. I just can't bear to listen to comments that perpetuate the idea that women are never beautiful enough, skinny enough, or perfect enough for our society. It's not surprising to hear these words emerge from the mouth of a man who makes his living off of this idea, but it was certainly a surprise to see it on your show. Maybe this segment seemed like a useful one for women concerned with aging, but in reality it was just the same old stereotypes being plastered across the screen in "before and after" photos. I think even the audience knew it, as their applause was scattered and seemed forced. While women everywhere can appreciate fashion tips, makeup ideas, and new haircuts displayed in your fun makeovers, this just goes too far.

While I will certainly continue to think of your website as a good place to find quick recipes, I will no longer be watching your talk show. Your viewers deserve better content than this.

Sincerely,
Joanna

* Note: For a moment there I was tempted to sign this letter with "Love and Best Dishes" but I'm too aggravated to be snarky! We'll see if I get any response to this email!

Perfection, my ass

I am such a sucker.

I'm also a bit of a girly girl. I love pink, fluffy slippers, bath and body products, and sparkles. I can't ever buy enough scented lotion, and I spend too long getting ready on date nights. However, I've always considered myself to have a pretty good grasp on reality when it comes to what I really NEED to have. I'll shop sales and only buy when I'm running out of something, except for two very glaring exceptions. Mascara and lip-gloss. Very few people in the world have ever seen me without mascara and lip-gloss, and it is essentially my one true goal in life to prevent that number from growing. Therefore, I keep secret stashes of these products in every conceivable hiding place: pockets, glove compartments, drawers, the toolbox. I do have my favorite, go-to brands and shades to which I will always stay true. But on occasion, some glossy new ad or gimmick will tempt me, and I fall into Freak Fad Frenzy.

This is what happened to me when I discovered the emergence of the new vibrating mascaras. I first spotted the Lancome vibrating mascara (sexily dubbed Oscillation) in a magazine this summer. I got giddy. I had to have one. But I didn't want to pay 34 bucks for it, so I waited until there was a cheaper version sold at CVS. Happily, a few weeks later I discovered Pulse Perfection™ by Define-A-Lash® Vibrating Mascara. See all of those trademarks? It's patented technology people! It must be good! The packaging promised that this product would give me the 7 elements of amazing lashes. Now my lashes are naturally light and not super thick, so that sounded good to me. I waited until I had used up my other mascara to try it, and this was the week. Bring on the perfection!

It was only when I was standing before the mirror yesterday, wand in hand, that I realized I was now about to angle a piece of hard plastic covered in tiny, vibrating spikes, into to my eye. Maybe I hadn't thought this through. But I wasn't about to cave that easily. I followed the detailed instructions on the packaging and waited to see my glorious lashes emerge...

"Uh, why do I look like a large, furry spider is napping on my eyelid?" Because this crap doesn't work. It's ridiculous. I looked like I had a solid clumps of lashes, like one of those old napping baby dolls whose lids flap up into their heads when you pick them up. It took me almost five minutes of slow separating with my lash comb, followed by wiping all of the excess on a tissue, and more combing. There was so much mascara on that wand that even Tammy Faye would have cringed. Sadly, I had to go to work, so I had to do it again on the other eye or risk not matching and looking like an even bigger wacko. It usually takes me a total of ten minutes to do all of my makeup, but it took me longer than that just to put on this mascara. At the end of the day, my eyes started to itch. I looked in the mirror and realized it was because the mascara was flaking off and nesting inside my lower eyelids, where it created the appearance of smudgy, dark liner and also an increasing amount of discomfort. I'll admit that the liner effect, while entirely accidental, looked kind of sultry, but I'm not into all that pain in the name of fashion bullshite. I couldn't wait to get home and either wash my face or tear my eyes out.

The good news is CVS has a great beauty returns policy, so this shit is going back to the store. When someone invents injectable lipgloss, remind me of this experience.

Sweet!

The lovely and crafty Claire sent me a set of cute cookie cutters in fall shapes recently and I couldn't wait to use them! I decided to use the maple leaves to make these sandwich cookies. I've made these raspberry sandwich cookies for Christmas the past two years, and loved the dough so much I had to try something new with it. I swapped the mascarpone for cream cheese since it was all I had in the fridge, and it worked just as well! The batch went to the office with E and was gone in minutes. Honestly, I know the same would be true if I sent in some grocery store donuts, so I'm not all that flattered by his coworkers' tastes. I tried one, though, and they were pretty f'in good! So yeah, that's why E got to take them to work. I have a dress to get into next weekend!

Pumpkin Maple Buttercream Sandwich Cookies:

For Dough:
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
dash of salt
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
1/2 cup cream cheese, at room temperature
2 1/2 cups flour

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Beat butter on medium speed for 30 seconds until pale and fluffy. Add sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and nutmeg and beat until combined. Beat in vanilla, egg, and cream cheese, scraping the sides of the bowl as needed. Beat in as much flour as possible using your mixer, 1/2 cup at a time. Fold in any remaining flour with a wooden spoon. Divide your dough in half. *If you want to, you may wrap in plastic wrap and chill for an hour or two, but it's not necessary. This dough is easy to work with! You can also freeze it for up to two months.
On a lightly floured surface, roll half of dough to a 1/8 inch thickness and cut into shapes. Bake on a cookie sheet lined with a Silpat or parchment paper for 5-6 minutes or until edges just start to brown. *Keep an eye on them as they will burn quickly! Transfer to a wire rack and cool completely before frosting.

For Frosting:
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/3 cup pumpkin puree
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 tsp. maple syrup
1 lb. confectioner's sugar

Beat pumpkin and butter until well combined. Add cinnamon, ginger, salt, vanilla, and maple syrup and beat until combined. While your mixer is running at medium speed, add sugar 1/2 cup at a time. You may not need the entire pound, so taste it and see! Also, don't worry if the frosting looks a little grainy as you start adding sugar. It will become nice and fluffy!

I used about a teaspoon if frosting to sandwich cookies together, then used a little melted chocolate to pipe on veins for the leaves. You can use more frosting, but it will squeeze out when you bite into the cookies! However, if sweet and messy is your thing, then go for it!

Print the Recipe!

Slow Going...

What is it about the fall that makes me instantly turn into sloth girl? The colder weather is certainly a part of it (35 degrees here when I woke up! Aah!), but I think it is also the smells, the colors, and obviously, the food. I like to cook things slowly in the fall, since I'm happy to let my oven warm up the entire house now, unlike summer when the grill is the only heat I'll allow! My slow cooker is out of the cabinet and becomes pretty much a counter fixture the second September rolls around. It's my saving grace now that I work lots of evenings.

This weekend I had lots of cooking time on my hands since E and I were laying around pretty depressed about the impending doom that was creeping up on the Red Sox (not a word Bobbins! I'll come over there!). The only thing to do once fate was clinched and the series was not was to eat lots of comfort food. To me that can mean lots of things: spaghetti and meat balls, homemade mac and cheese, chicken and dumplings, tuna noodle casserole. This week it meant my version of onion soup for lunch and my mom's banana bread with huge cups of tea all late afternoon. Nothing better to soothe the slow ache of a season gone down the tubes.

How to make my Potato Onion Soup:

Ingredients:
4 cups yellow onion, sliced thin
2 medium red potatoes, sliced in half then sliced very thin (use a mandoline or a food processor for this!)
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1/3 cup red wine
3 Tbls. tomato paste
6 cups chicken stock
2 tsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1 bay leaf
1 Tbls. olive oil

If you have a dutch oven for this soup, you're money. I don't have one, and it is the bane of my existence. (Maybe one day a fairy godmother, or my husband, will get one for me? Hint hint!) If you are sadly devoid of a dutch oven, use a big pot; it'll be ok.

Heat olive oil in the pot over medium low heat. Add onion and cook over low heat for 45 minutes, stirring every once in a while. Yes, I said 45 minutes. Your onions need to get super soft and turn a dark golden color before you add anything else or you won't get the right flavor. See those? That is 30 minutes in, and they may look soft and yummy, but they are not ready! Keep going until you see this caramel color. Please ignore that I forgot to take a picture before adding the potatoes! But really, that's how dark your onions need to be! Once you get them to that point, stir in garlic, red wine, tomato paste, bay leaf and potatoes. Let that simmer for about 5 minutes before pouring in your stock. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for 35 - 45 minutes, until your potatoes are fork tender. Season with salt and pepper, remove bay leaf, and serve.

We ate ours with little Blue Cheese Crescent Rolls and lots of sorrow. It was delicious and did make me feel a little better. The entire house smelled of onions, which I love, but E doesn't, so I baked a banana bread to cut the odor. I don't like most banana breads, and I will never buy it in a bakery or coffee shop because it is always too dry. I know everyone says it, but my mother's recipe is the best! It is so moist, and it will stay that way for days as long as you wrap the bread tightly in foil. This is perfect with a little butter or cream cheese and a big cup of tea! Plus, you can have a loaf in the oven in literally 10 minutes.

Suzy's Banana Bread:

Ingredients:
3 very ripe bananas (ultra ripe, brown skinned, and soft)
1 egg
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Blend banana, egg, oil, and sugar with a hand mixer until well combined. Beat in flour, salt, and baking soda. Fold in nuts and pour into a greased loaf pan. Bake for 45 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack. Eat it 'til it's gone!

Although this is one of my favorite comfort foods, we have to be real here. Is it good for you? No, but neither is binge drinking and how many of us did that this past month (err, weekend? yesterday?)? If you really want to lighten it up a little you can use 1/2 a cup of white flour mixed with 1 cup of whole wheat flour, and replace 1/3 of the cup of sugar with Splenda. It won't hurt your final product, but I haven't gone further than that. I don't want to mess too much with perfection! Off to eat my second slice of the day; maybe I should fit in a workout!

Freckles and the Spaniard

Thanks to Jenny's suggestion, I've decided it is time for me to share the tale of our former neighbors, partly to amuse her (and I didn't forget about you, Tim! Hi!) and partly to attempt to rid myself of some of the lingering bad feelings that arise any time I drive by the State Theater.

When E and I first moved to Ann Arbor, we settled into a condo complex full of (unbeknown to us) old people and U of M dental students. Actually, our new development is also full of blue hairs, so maybe that's just our thing. Anyway, we were invited to a get-together by a neighbor that first fall, and being the friendless losers that we were, we kindly accepted. I whipped up a tray of fancy grasshopper brownies and we marched over on a Friday night, not quite hopeful. A man answered the door and we introduced ourselves. "Miriam invited us!" I chirped. It was only when he gave me a strange glare that I realized his wife's name was Gwen. Strike One!

It was at this party that we met the middle aged lawyer who said everything was "off the hook," the Baptist who was thrilled to meet Rhode Islanders (random fact: Roger Williams co-founded the first Baptist Church and Providence is a type of Mecca to hardcore Baptists) and also, Freckles and the Spaniard. This married couple was friendly, talkative, and seemed perfectly harmless. She was a bright, Irish lass who worked for the University and had a passion for beer and art. I'll call her Annie, cause I'm creative and I like pseudonyms. He was a translator from Sevilla (which he pronounces Seh-VEE-Ya! with an exclamation point) with a great accent. I'll call him Hernando. You'll see why later. They invited us out to a movie, and again, we kindly agreed. We are so naive.

We picked up Hernando and drove to meet Annie downtown. We actually passed by her on the street, which was followed by lots of screaming out of windows, slamming on of brakes, and a slight feeling of foreboding. After sitting in the sticky and slighty dank smelling State Theater for two hours of Transiberian (which is a great movie by the way, just not really a "couples night" type of movie) we walked to a local bar. They commented loudly about the movie. Well, he tried to make a point and she shouted over him constantly. At this point I was done, but I thought I could suffer through one beer. Freckles and the Spaniard ordered dinner. E and I then sat through another 2 hours of conversation. By conversation I mean she talked and talked, he simpered, and we threw in occasional comments while chugging beer after beer. She used the phrase "a young gal living on a single income" at least 8 times. Strike Two.

We knew we couldn't continue to have a relationship with these weirdos, especially once we got the feeling that they were only married so that Hernando could continue living in America. They so obviously didn't like each other. Unless you consider emasculating your husband in front of practical strangers affectionate, I imagine they had a pretty loveless home.

We tried to be casual about it. We ran into Hernando at the gym and pretended we had lunch plans. I bumped into Annie in the parking lot and faked an appointment when I was just getting something out of my car. I actually drove away. I didn't have my purse, so I did a few loops around the neighborhood before sneaking home. She thought she had me one day when she was off to work, shouting that she was getting a promotion. The office, where she had worked "since she was a young gal living on a single income," had planned a party. Instead of bringing her husband, she was bringing the elderly woman named Esther with the hunched back who lived next door. Sweet as pie this woman, but I can't picture her as a swinging party guest. "Oh, is Hernando working that night?" I asked.
"No." Hmmm.

One night, not long after the party, the doorbell rang. We opened the door to see a newly mustachioed Hernando in a jogging suit. That would have been enough for me, but no. It was a little handlebar mustache. And he had waxed the ends. He looked like a baby Cortez out for a night of debauchery in his swishy pants. He was there to tell us about his discovery of the New Yorker Magazine online, where you can read many interesting articles from the archives of many, many years of magazines. He proceeded to describe several of these articles to us. Then he asked us to go Flamenco dancing. I pretended I was too cold to stand there with the door open any longer, and before he could somersault into our living room, E shut the door. Strike Three.

Luckily, we moved a short time later, before they could suck us into their weirdo lair. I can picture it now. Expensive art scattered with antique furniture, Spanish guitar on the stereo, and enticing spicy smells to get you in the mood before they drag you, drunk and confused, into the black walled sybian room dressed in soccer jerseys. (If you don't know what a sybian is, please don't Google it while children are in the room. I don't want to be responsible for anyone's nightmares but my own.) And this is why we won't ever again make nice with our neighbors.

Bridesmaid-zilla

My fabulous BFF Jessica is getting married! And I am honored to be a part of her wedding party. I like nothing more than all of the excitement of planning and throwing the parties, dressing up, stuffing my face with passed hors d'œuvre and champagne, and dancing the night away. There is also the fun fun fun of trying on (dun dun duuun), the dreaded bridesmaid dress. Unfortunately, the lovely ladies of this wedding are scattered across the country from California to Rhode Island, making it impossible for us all to get together for a day of bubbly, giggling, and bridal boutiques. This has, of course, left us with the only realistic option. David's Bridal.

Now I'm not going to hate entirely on David's Bridal here because I am a realist. My friend Jen and my cousin Libby both bought their gowns there and they were gorgeous! I even loved the bridesmaid dresses we all wore for Libby's wedding. However, the general experience I have had in several David's locations have, to put it bluntly, sucked. A few examples:
- They wanted to charge me over 200 dollars to hem a dress, which my mom ended up doing herself in under an hour.
- The seamstress who worked with Libby was argumentative, rude, and inexperienced, and my aunt had to re-pin the entire bodice while the seamstress was out of the room. The anxiety and stress resulted in tears, which no bride wants to deal with!
- While planning out the gown for my wedding, my mom and I went to try on dresses for shape ideas. I literally hated everything I put on. Half of them had no lining and showed every curve. The other half just felt cheap. I came out of the dressing room at one point saying, "Now this one is just awful..." only to see the salesgirl's face and stutter, "awful on me! Yeah, just awful on my body type. I'm sure it would be adorable on other girls!" Turns out she had just finished telling my mother how she wore the dress at her wedding a few months earlier. My constant foot in mouth syndrome marches on.

Luckily, I have a generally positive outlook, so this weekend I grabbed a girlfriend and my camera, and headed over to David's to take one for the team ;) We had had quite an evening just hours before, so we were in high spirits. I tried on seven dresses in under 30 minutes, while my friend snapped quick photos. She took one shot of each dress, which often caught my immediate reactions upon seeing myself in the wall of many mirrors. I don't mince words, and I make judgments very quickly, so it was a painless enterprise.



Allison's comment: "What is that thing hanging between your legs?" I think it's to soak up thigh sweat.











This one is made of what they call "crinkle chiffon." It actually feels like public restroom toilet paper. Handy for wedding tears.












This time, Allison said, "Um, I like your shoes." Yeah.














I didn't actually think I dress could make me look more flat chested, but I have been proven wrong.











Now this one we both liked! Cute shape, nice fabric. Overall, an adorable little black dress. In yellow? Maybe.










This one is also cute and very comfy. I love jersey. Again, I'm not sure how it will look in yellow, but it fit well, and that's half the battle.





Why I do declare! I think we found a winner! I love this dress. Great fit, great shape, great fabric, and pockets! I love pockets. Ignore the fact that this color is atrocious (Tangerine? Really?) and you'll see why this is my favorite.

You are probably wondering at this point why on earth my friend would choose me to be in her wedding party. I am clearly very opinionated. I am not going to wear taffeta or a butt bow and I'm not going to cut or color my hair. But guess what, she wouldn't ask me to. She's stylish and normal and actually likes her friends enough to not want them to look shitty at her wedding. Plus, shitty looking bridesmaids ruin the pictures.

Congrats!

Sorry it took a few days to write this post! It has been a busy bee kind of weekend!

So without further ado... I'd like to congratulate the winner of my Third Blogiversary Giveaway: Claire! I just can't resist the phrase, "Oh, Snap!" since it is one of my most frequently used exclamations (other than the f word, of course. I curse like a sailor, much to most people's chagrin.) A guarantee that some of you will also be receiving little presents in the mail at some point, since almost everyone who entered is actually a friend in real life or on Craftster. Miss M, I'm keeping an eye on you for OWS Round 700 or whatever we are up to now!

Thanks again to everyone who entered and for reading my little blog of random. Just wait until I have time to write about my David's Bridal experience yesterday :) Classic.

Lighten up

I have another full day off today, so instead of spending it in front of the TV and spying on my unsuspecting neighbors, I decided to be productive. Now that I am often home from work after 7:30 PM, our dinner schedule has taken a real hit. If I haven't put something in the crock pot in the morning, or left something out with detailed instructions no longer than 3 steps, chances are pretty good that E will have gorged himself on Doritos and cheese sticks by 5:30. If he has eaten at all. It's hysterical, because he's actually a really good cook. Sadly, he's turned into a spoiled lazy ass who eats like the ladies in Lean Cuisine commercials. "Last night I ate a yogurt, 7 crackers, and half a cheesecake straight from the freezer!"

In order to save my own sanity, I decided to start stocking the freezer with food that he can pull out and stick in the oven, so that dinner is ready when I get home with very little thinking on his part. While a lot of things are great for this purpose (like casseroles and pasta dishes) most of them are loaded with fat and calories. I switched up a couple of faves to ensure that they will still taste delicious without creating massive ass expansion.

Eggplant Lasagna: My mom's old school lasagna was the best! Seriously. Nothing was better than coming home from school to smell a gravy (ok, ok, a sauce!) on the stove and see her mixing up ricotta filling. I used to sneak tea cups full of gravy and eat it with a spoon when she wasn't looking. Now that we are all more health conscious (especially my mom, the fiber Nazi. Really, she can take one look at you and tell if you've had your daily dose of fiber. If not, she'll give it to you, intravenously if necessary.) we never make lasagna. I crave it though, especially once the weather gets cooler. This recipe cuts the pasta and cheese by half, up the veggies, and is actually better than the original. Sorry, Mom.

Chicken Tattrazini: I was a casserole freak in college. Between this, tuna noodle casserole, and late night chip 'n dipping (remember that, Jenny?), it was a damn good thing I had a high metabolism. I couldn't even imagine eating like that now, any more than I can imagine drinking 6 mudslides at T.G.I.Fridays without booting. Ah, youth! I couldn't even find my old recipe (must have lost it along with that metabolism), so I looked up one of Martha's, cut the fat and swapped in whole wheat pasta for the white. This recipe smelled so good I hated to stick it in the freezer.

Cranberry Whole Wheat Muffins: Ok, not a dinner option, but worth sharing anyway! A few years ago E and I went to an adorable bed and breakfast and were served these killer muffins in the morning. I've made them a bunch of times since, but it's my mother who started playing with the recipe to add (you guessed it!) fiber. I decided to make these today when E told me he refuses to eat this oh-so-yummy Cascadian Farms "Hearty Fiber" cereal I bought. I'm a sucker for coupons and for organics, so I bought it without really reading the box. "No way am I eating anything that says it has twigs in it." Fine. I used the rest of the box to make these muffins, so he's still going to eat the twigs, he just won't know it. I wrap them in freezer paper, stick them in a large ziploc bag and freeze them for a quick snack or breakfast.

Funny thing is, E just came home from work early, literally while I'm typing this. He went straight for the fucking Doritos.

Happy Blogiversary!

No, I'm not picking my nose here.

So Holy Crap. I was scanning through some old posts and realized that it was three years ago this week that I started this blog. Three years ago today I was sitting at a desk in a tiny flat in Friedrichshafen, Germany, jet-lagged, hungry, and spazzing the f out. I can't believe how quickly it all went by, and how distant that person seems from the person I am now. Reading through some of my old posts, I realize now how fun and exciting my life sounded. I was a sarcastic little bugger (what else is new?) but man, was I doing cool shit! My blog has transitioned from a travel heavy fun-for-all to a much more creative outlet, but at least I'm not entirely static. I may party a little less hardy and keep a little closer to home, but at least now I can enjoy my reality TV in English.
Aaaaanyway, I've decided to celebrate my little anniversary with a giveaway in order to thank the three of you who have actually read this ramble-fest. You know those little letters I like to paint? Well, I'd like to make you some! Here are the details:



The prize: A set of letters (up to six) fully painted and embellished by moi.
What to do with them? Choose the name of a child, an inspirational word or phrase, whatever! Hang them up, stare at them, be happy.

How to win:
1. Leave me a comment describing what name, word, or phrase you'd like. I will contact you for color and theme details later. Remember that you can only use up to six letters.
2. Tell me a little story about why you want the letters you chose; I like stories. Maybe you want the word "Free" to remind you of how you ditched some grimy boyfriend and then found yourself. Maybe you want your daughter's name encrusted in glitter because she's a diva. Anything goes! If you need some idea of what I've made in the past, feel free to peruse this flickr set.
3. Don't forget to leave me an email address to contact you if you win!

I will choose a winner based on who has the best story or letter choice, so go to town! The giveaway will end on October 1st and is only open to residents of the continental US. Sorry, but I'm cheap and don't want to deal with ridonculus overseas shipping :) Have fun and good luck to everyone who enters!

Peath Out Summer

I hate that today is the last day of summer. My depression over the passing of summer isn't anything new, but listening to Willard Scott ramble through his dentures this morning about falling leaves just about did it for me. My mourning is official.

It could also be that occasionally we all have days when we realize how much we suck at life. First day of Fall? You are my day.

For me the end of summer also signaled the end of my full time employment and the transition into not one, not two, but three part time jobs. Somehow, one can have a bachelor's degree, five years of experience, excellent recommendations, plus three part time jobs and still end up with a random day off in the middle of the week. Call me crazy, but I just wasn't planning for that. Suddenly it becomes imperative to conjure up a full schedule of errands or other inane activities to fill a day. You wouldn't want to look up and realize that at 5:00 in the evening, you've watched Tyra, Wendy Williams, and a mini marathon of Gossip Girl episodes, while eating nothing but a bag of gummi worms and forgetting to brush your teeth. Not that that has ever happened to me.

I began my plan of festivities today by spying on my neighbors. Our new development is full of elderly Asian ladies, including the piano teacher who lives next door with her traveling circus of family members. Seriously, the place needs a revolving door and some midgets and they'd be set. Sometimes I get to listen to her play beautiful classical music while I fold laundry, but more often I get to listen to little children banging out sour notes with the occasionally loud thump. I like to imagine that it's the old woman, whacking the backs of their hands with a ruler. I never hear them crying though.

I was minding my own business, "reading a book" by the window, when I heard it. Instead of music, it was screaming. Such loud, painful howling I thought the kid had to be dying. At the very least he had to be hemorrhaging from some orifice or other. But no, turns out he was just being a little asshole. Piano lady was pushing the toddler in a stroller through the parking lot while he thrashed violently back and forth, yanking on his own hair. She ignored him completely, which makes me love her all the more. Now I know she's a sadist.

I also spied on our cutesy love dove girl, who lives across the lot with her man candy. I have never met these people, to be fair, but I hate them. They are about our age, and spend every weekend washing their matching CRV's, she with her glistening, chestnut locks and cute butt, he with his shaggy Kings of Leon haircut and soccer calves. They laugh and flick water at each other while their gorgeous Golden Retriever sits basking in the sunlight. They are probably perfectly nice people with whom we'd totally get along, but I've seen that episode of "How I Met Your Mother" and I'm not into hanging out with neighbors after our incident with the freaks at the last condo (one day I'll break down and share that story, but I'm still having nightmares). And so I watched her through the window while she carried stuff back and forth from the car. She looked like shit: no makeup, messy hair, and an outfit that had clearly been pulled from the hamper. In other words, she looked just like me.

About this time I realized that spying on neighbors wasn't giving me the self esteem boost I was looking for. Maybe working out would, or bathing even. Then I started cleaning out my wallet while shooting hate beams at Rachael Ray on TV, and found my savior. A Kohl's gift card. Hells yes! Best depression fighter? Shop therapy, baby. Gotta go brush my teeth.

Moth Man

And now back to our weekend...
Sunday was game day, which means big beers, overloaded nachos, and Polish sausage. Thankfully we picked the right day, since the Red Sox won on Sunday and went on to lose 3 out of 4. The game was followed by naps, dinner in, and an Irish pub crawl. We hit up O'Callahan's and the Elephant and Castle before ending up back at Fado with a few other friends. By the way, none of these places actually qualifies as a real Irish pub. They are still fun, but if you want authenticity, check out this crawl.

Monday was slow going, since we were all so stuffed and a bit hungover, but we pulled it together and headed home. We have made the drive between Chicago and Ann Arbor many times, and never stop along the way, so we decided to hit a few "attractions". E and I did a quick wine tasting at Contessa, visited Grandpa's Cider Mill (Which you can skip, since it sucked. We were expecting kitsh at the very least, but got nothin'. The cider in the case was frozen, probably made last year, and it looked like an empty warehouse inside.), and got truffles at the Chocolate Garden, before buying a flat of peaches at Fruit Acres and getting back on the road. We listened to David Sedaris audiobooks and drove into a rain storm. Then we went to bed.

I had hoped this was the end of our saga, since E had a 7:30 AM flight to Charlotte and I had to work, too. Alas. I was startled at 3 AM by my beloved climbing out of bed and slamming full force into the dresser in the dark. He turned on the light and mumbled, "What the hell is that?" Now fully awake, I looked over to the window where he was pointing. Something was stuck in the vertical blinds, flapping against the window and causing a ruckus. It was a moth. Not a city moth, whose growth is obviously stunted by exhaust fumes and smoke, but a farm moth, one grown fat on the honey of apple blossoms until it reaches the size of a small bird. I can only imagine that it had stowed away in the flat of peaches we bought in Coloma, taking a little nap in the sweet-smelling box. Upon awakening in our pitch black kitchen, it must have been totally freaked out. Finding little greenery on the first floor, I'm sure it felt trapped, and careened up the stairway looking for escape. Spotting our bedroom windows, it smelled freedom, and flung itself at top speed into the blinds, where it got stuck and continued flapping like mad.

This brings us up to real time. E grabbed at the moth monster with a tissue, but only succeeded in setting it free. It flew behind the dresser and went silent. Hoping to get back to sleep, E put out the light and climbed back into bed. As if it would be that easy, my love. Literally the instant that I fell back asleep, I was awake again. The sound was like that of a playing card tucked into a spinning bike wheel combined with erratic heartbeats, and I had no idea where the moth was at this point. E got up again and switched on the lamp. Torn between it's desire to live and it's instinct to move towards light, the moth appeared and jumped into the lamp shade. I heard a sizzle, which could only be the tears of the moth hitting the hot bulb, as it realized it had made the wrong choice. E was on him in a second. He marched into the bathroom with the crumpled tissue, flung it down onto the tiled floor and pounded it with his fist before tossing it into the trash. "Are you sure he's dead?" I asked. Somehow I knew the moth was a male. All I could picture was myself, waking later to hear a soft thumping from the cabinet, Edgar Allen Poe style, then opening the door for the moth monster, crazed and desperate, to fly out and attack me in the face.

I never fell back to sleep. I lay in bed for several hours until E left for the airport and then wandered downstairs when my stomach started grumbling. How I could eat after this weekend is a mystery to me. I have yet to open the cabinet and am contemplating ways to avoid it until E gets home on Thursday and can take out the trash. I'm sure I'll be less paranoid once I sleep a little. We'll see.

Overindulged

I think that one word pretty much sums up my Labor Day weekend. I'm back home to rain, thunder and lightning, but I couldn't scare less. After our 4 day jaunt in Chicago, all I feel like doing is laying around and reading, and gray days are perfect for that. What I really need to be doing is a two hour workout followed by an acai berry detox, but I doubt that's going to happen.

Our Tour de Fatty Foodies began on Friday night, with 22 oz. Fat Tires and BBQ at Heaven on Seven. Saturday was to be a long day, and we would need our fuel. We gorged ourselves on brisket, pulled pork and sweet potato polenta, sampling every hot sauce we could get our hands on. We spent the remainder of the evening watching the Red Sox game on TV, too full to move beyond our hotel suite. We figured that was ok, since we had a long weekend ahead of us.

Saturday began with brunch at Frontera Grill, which besides the incredibly long wait for our food's arrival, was well worth the hype. Get in line early for the first seating and you won't need to wait longer than 25 minutes for a table! I had the Huevos Motuleos (two fried eggs on a crispy tostada with roasted tomatoes, country ham, peas, sweet fried plantains, queso fresco and black beans) and a tall Michelada. Heaven. Sadly, E was jealous of my food, having ordered something sort of boring, but he was happy after tasting the Habanero Salsa. It was insanely hot, forcing tears and sweat, which is why they offer it as an "all you can eat" condiment. I doubt anyone gets past the first bowl!

We followed brunch with a much needed stroll over to Millennium Park to check out all of the new sculpture and architecture exhibitions. All of the new installations are so futuristic, it looks like alien pods have landed, sustainable, eco friendly alien pods that is. We didn't get a chance to go back at night, but apparently the space is illuminated after dark, so it would be worth checking out! We wandered through the Jazz Festival, too, but didn't stay long, since jazz really isn't what we are into. I find it a little boring to be honest, sue me.

After exhausting our feet, we jumped into the car to drive up to Hot Doug's, where the line already stretched around the building. E spent our almost two hours in line surfing the web. Thank God for that Blackberry, or else I know he would have killed me. "You really want to wait in this line for a hot dog?" Yes. Yes, I did. When the hot dog is a Smoked Crayfish and Pork Sausage with Cajun Remoulade and Smokey Blue Cheese and the french fries are cooked in duck fat, yes. We also ordered the Foie Gras and Sauternes Duck Sausage with Truffle Aioli, Foie Gras Mousse and Sel Gris, cut both in half and traded. Once he took a bite, E stopped complaining. Hands down these were the best dogs we have ever eaten. Heaven on a bun, people.
On our way home we stopped at the Bleeding Heart Bakery since it is just down the road. I know, you are wondering how anyone could eat a cupcake at this point. I ordered a Half Acre and a Holy Mole in honor of brunch, but couldn't even think about eating them. They went into the hotel fridge and were nibbled over the course of the weekend. We then had to rush back to get ready for dinner at Shaw's with business people. I could barely make it through a martini, let alone more food, but had to order something to be polite. We definitely need to go back one night when we are hungry and sit in the little wet bar. It looks like a fish shop back home, and has an awesome menu. We spent the rest of the evening having beers at Fado with our friends the Robinson's, before passing out in the hotel.

This is where my story gets put on hold. It's not much of a cliff hanger, but I don't want this post to get any longer than it already is. I'll come back later to tell you about the rest of what I ate all weekend long and why I didn't sleep all night last night :)

Celebrate good times, come on

I apologize if that song gets stuck in your head now!

I'm the kind of person who will come up with any reason to throw a party, bake or make gifts for people. I just like celebrating things, even mundane things. The past few weeks we've had lots of things to celebrate, so I got to tinker to my little hearts content.

First, our beloved D came out for a long weekend all by her lonesome. It was her very first time traveling by herself, and it also happened to coincide with her "5,000th Day." You may be wondering, "What, pray tell, do you mean by 5,000th day?" Well, I will tell you! My lovely dork of a husband was listening to one of his favorite albums from one of his favorite bands: Tool's "10,000 Days". He wondered, "How many years old is someone who is 10,000 days old?" Being a math guy, he banged out the figures and discovered that he and I are both several years beyond that, since 10,000 days equals about 27 and a half years. Suddenly he thought, "Wait! 10,000... 27... 5,000... 13... D money... bacon..." He's always thinking about bacon. A bit more figuring led E to discover that his little sister would be 5,000 days old on the Friday she arrived at our house. Of course, I had to throw her a party.

How to throw a 5,000, 10,000, or 15,000 Day Party:
Make dessert: Every celebration needs dessert. Find out your party recipients favorite flavors and make something to match. I hate when people make their own favorite thing for a party. "Oh, I just adore beets! Everyone must love beets! I'll make borscht!" Only to discover that the mere scent of a beet makes the birthday girl want to spew. ("Hey, Phil, If you're gonna spew, spew into this!" Random film quote of the day!) You also need to decorate the dessert with appropriate flair. I used toothpicks, a big circle punch, and a marker to make the little picks for D's cakes. Easy, cute, done.

Buy the appropriate number of gifts: Or make them if you are crafty and have an unlimited amount of free time. There was no way I was making 5,000 of anything. I couldn't even commit to buying her 5,000 of any one thing. Instead, D got 5 different things: M&M's, mini-marshmallows, index cards, paper clips, and post-it notes. It's back to school time, and she only had a carry on bag, people. Other fun ideas include anything you can buy in bulk at Costco, pennies, books equal to the days in pages, or prescription meds (if you are an Amy Sedaris type partier).

By the time D's plane came in, she was so tired that we didn't get into playing any 5,000 Day games; we didn't even eat cupcakes until the next morning. But you could go ahead and force the party person to walk 5,000 steps, jump rope for 5,000 seconds, eat 5,000 saltines, whatever amuses you. Just don't make anyone drink 5,000 ounces of hard liquor.

Aside from our long weekend with the little sis, we have had lots of babies born to our friends lately. We haven't gotten the chance to meet any of them yet, but it always gives me the chance to get crafty. I've made name letters for every baby born to a friend or family member since my nephew Nic was born 7 years ago. You can see some of them in my flickr set. Usually I mimic the colors and theme of the nursery or bedding, but I take other requests. I'm waiting for some hard core friends to want tattoo and flame letters, since I'm tiring of baby elephants and Pooh! This week I had to make letters for Parker, Vanessa, and Joplin (baby jungle animals, ladybugs and more ladybugs) and also need to make new ones for Nic, whose adorable kite themed nursery letters are a little young for a seven year old. He wants Batman now. I can't even stand it. When did he get so old? Bottom line, if you know somebody who is having or has recently had a baby, let me know. I'll whip 'em up for ya!

Our last little bit of celebration is this coming 4 day mini-vacation to Chicago for Labor Day weekend. We have Red Sox tickets, hells yes! I'm also determined to satisfy the food groupie in me by visiting some of the restaurants of the celebrity chefs with whom I am obsessed. In case you didn't know, I am not all that concerned with what SJP is wearing today, but I can tell you what flavor profiles Grant Achatz is toying with this week. I know, lame. While I will sadly not be visiting Alinea for dinner (just can't justify the $500 bill!) I will be pushing for brunch at Rick Bayless' Frontera Grill, a trip to the Bleeding Heart Bakery and a dog at Hot Doug's. We won't spend ALL of our time eating, (hello? I did mention a Red Sox game!) and there will be lots of time for any of the huge amount of events going on in the city this weekend. Here's a pretty comprehensive list in case you're in town, are lost, and are looking for something to do. We're thinking of doing some thrifting, hitting one of the 70 farmer's markets, and maybe the Jazz and Polish fests. Sweetness.

Have a safe and happy Labor Day everyone!

Giveaway Time!

This week I get to host yet another giveaway thanks to the folks at Uprinting.com This time around you can win 500 Business Cards. You may choose from three business card sizes, then choose the paper and the color. These are high quality Die Cut Business Cards for you to design and personalize in any way you choose. I'm going to use mine for sub cards so that I can leave an eye-catching reminder of my awesomeness on the desks of teachers at school :)

To win, just leave me a comment telling me what you would do with your business cards. Don't forget to leave me a way to contact you if you win. I'll choose two winners on Monday, September 7th using random.org. Good luck everyone!

Shipping must be paid by Winner. Offer Valid for UNITED STATES SHIPPING ONLY.

That time of year again...

Before I start babbling, I just need to let everyone know how excited I am ( and offer more evidence of what a big dork I am!). My Painter's Palette won the Craftster Challenge, I was featured for Foodie Friday, My Sex and the City Cupcakes are featured in Bakespace's newest newsletter, and my Oreo Crunch Fudge Bars are on the Hot 100 list. Fun! Now on to the babble...

I can't even believe that it is time to start thinking fall. I'm so resistant to letting summer end that I am just ignoring all of my usual late August rituals. Since I am yet to procure a full time teaching spot and may be subbing again in September, I am letting it all slide! Usually I do several things that help me to get ready for back to school without losing my mind:

A huge wardrobe once over: I pull out all of my fall clothes and try everything on. I then sort things into piles. One for the great-as-is stuff, one for anything that needs repair or tweaking, and one for items not worn in two years. The latter get photographed and posted to my Wardrobe Swap Shop. I use the next few weeks to do repairs and wash and iron all of the rest. Then I figure out what I need to buy. I love Tim Gunn's list of Ten Essentials, which I agree is the base of any great wardrobe. Once I'm happy that I have them all, I start scoping out new things I want to try out from fall collections, fashion blogs, or magazines. I'm a sucker for Lucky and InStyle since they tend to cater to more realistic shoppers like moi. Also, I like perusing Closet Couture, but many users have a style that can be a little too much for work wear! I make a list, check the sales and go to the stores, where I then STICK TO THE LIST! This is essential for me, since I am sometimes an impulsive shopper. It's for this same reason that I avoid online shopping. It would be the death of my bank account! All of that "Free Shipping for orders over $100!" and "10% off if you order by 9 PM!" is oh so tempting, but I've learned to stay away!

A freezer/pantry once over: I tend to buy food in bulk and when on sale, so my freezer fills up quickly. I take these next two weeks to pull out anything more than a month old and get cooking! Since the weather is still warm enough for grilling, I take full advantage of it. I absolutely love this Grilled Tuna with Mango Jalapeno Salsa and this Sweet and Sour Grilled Pork Loin with Apples and Onions is a fantastic meal for the transition into cooler weather. I also want to get the most out of late summer produce, so now is the time for freezing any berries, making jams, or canning fruits for the fall. I already made the blueberry preserves and raspberry dessert sauce that will likely make up part of many Christmas gifts this year (Yes, I just said Christmas. Ack!).

School Supply Shopping This is usually another big item on my to-do list, but if I'm subbing, I won't end up doing this at all. Normally I go through the same routine as I do with my wardrobe: check to see what I am low on or what new items I want to use, check sales and make a list. I still get all of my teacher discounts and specials, but I'm avoiding the office supply and book stores until I know for sure what I will be doing in September. I must admit, I'll miss it a bit. I love shopping for new books! For anyone who needs to boost their classroom libraries, end of summer yard sales and your local freecycle are the way to go! I have picked up most of my books there, especially from moms looking to clear out the bedrooms of their college bound kids!

Although I am sad that summer is ending, I must admit that I love autumn. I am looking forward to apple picking, wearing boots with tights, Halloween crafting, and costume parties, but still. The heat, the the food, the lazy afternoons are just bliss. However, it could be worse! If I had been on the beach at home all summer I would be suffering so much more! Wait, did I just discover a benefit of living in Michigan? Whoa.

Tori and a few tidbits

In case you are not one of my local friends, several of whom were irritated by my incessant bragging the past few weeks, get ready! I was lucky enough to win a pair of tickets to see Tori Amos at the Detroit Opera House this past weekend from my favorite radio DJ, Martin Bandyke. Tori Amos, as in the musical embodiment of my emotional teenage years, stylish, amazing, talented beyond compare and eclectic crazy cool Tori Amos, who somehow, despite my obsession with her, I had never seen in concert! I was thrilled; Eric not so much. Luckily we had dinner with our friends the Robinson's a few nights before the show, inspiring my dear husband's truly selfless and charitable suggestion: "Katja, why don't you go?" Katja dutifully agreed and Girls' Night Out plans were set in motion.

Katja has never been to downtown Detroit and I have never been in the Opera House so it was a fun adventure even without what ended up being one of the greatest live shows I've seen. We had what I thought were great balcony seats, until I saw this lucky duck's photos! (A side note: I'm now in love with Pink is the New Blog! You can go check out more photos and the set list from the show there.) Tori looked fabulous in her hot pink leggings and stilettos, while straddling a piano bench and playing several keyboards at once. Her energy and the power of that voice gave me goosebumps more than once. I was so excited to hear Winter, Icicle, Precious Things, and Caught a Lite Sneeze, but the new songs were equally stellar. If you have not heard the new album yet, get on it! And if you live anywhere near where this tour is headed, go buy tickets now! You will not regret it.

Our evening ended with our meeting the boys at the Berg and heading to Brown Jug for the cheapest beer in Ann Arbor. Lots of young drunks, but if you want a seven dollar pitcher at midnight, you can't go wrong. Snacks next door at Pancheros and home to bed. I'm still humming Body and Soul.

On another note, I need to congratulate the winner of my second giveaway, Cora! Cora has won herself an 18x24" poster print from Large Format Posters. She was lucky, and she was the only person who entered properly! Looking back I see that the sponsors probably need to rethink charging a handling fee for a prize. It seems to be a real turn-off for readers, which I totally understand! Even if it is only five bucks, people don't want to pay for free prizes because then they don't really seem like free prizes at all, do they? Exactly.

Painting Never Tasted So Good

Okay, so I haven't done a Craftster rave in a good long while, so I think it is about time! If you haven't visited the site and you are at all crafty, you should do so immediately! It is by far the best of the social-networking-for-crafty-people sites! I first found Craftster way back in April of 2006. I had just been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy and was stuck in the house, pitying myself and getting more bored by the moment. I started working on a scrapbook that I had been neglecting and ended up searching the web for supplies. Somehow this led me to Craftster, which was serendipitous to say the least. The inspiration, information, support and friendships that followed have made me a Craftster fan for life. Anything you want to learn to make, you can find it, anything you want to share or show off, you can do that, too. Want to swap some goodies or make some friends? Go for it. I became so swap addicted for a while that I had to do a craft detox.

With our recent move, work, and all of life's other obstacles, I have been neglectful of Craftster lately. A twitter post by one of the admins alerted me to the newest monthly challenge: Incredible Edibles. Create a project mimicking craft supplies entirely out of food. Obviously this challenge was made for me. I knew everyone would be making cupcakes or cakes for this challenge so I wanted to make something a little different. Instead of sweets, I created a savory appetizer platter in the form of a painter's palette. The bread palette was baked using a whole wheat dough based on the master dough recipe that I always talk about. My version of the recipe follows along with recipes for each of the "paints" and a few other ideas in case you'd like to try this with other colors or flavors! Each "paint" is a different flavored dip or spread. The paintbrush is more bread, with fennel fronds for bristles, tied on with onion skin. After it was finished Eric and I devoured this for dinner with several glasses of vino... nothing left but crumbs!

Don't forget to head over to Craftster and vote for my entry between August 6th and 12th!

How to:

Make your bread dough:
- In a large Tupperware container, mix 1.5 cups of lukewarm water with 1 envelope of yeast and 1/2 Tbls. of kosher salt.
- Add 3.5 cups of whole wheat flour, mixing well with a wooden spoon until all flour is combined and dough is sticky.
- Cover with a towel and let rise in a dry, warm room for 3-5 hours or until dough doubles in size.
- When you are ready to bake, preheat oven to 450 degrees. I recommend a pizza stone, but if you don't have one you could do it on a baking sheet instead. If using the stone, put it in the oven now. PLace a roasting pan on the bottom rack of your oven.
- Dust your work surface (I do this right on a pizza peel because I then transfer it to a pizza stone, but you can sape it right on the baking sheet if that is what you have) and hands with flour. Cut 3/4 of the dough from the container, and shape it into a crescent like a painter's pallette. Cut a circle from one side for the thumb hole.
- Shape remaining dough into a rod for the paint brush and any other shape you'd like (I used extra dough to make little baguettes for dipping).
- Slide dough shapes onto pizza stone or put baking seet in oven.
- Pour 2 cups of hot water into the roasting pan and shut the oven door to catch steam. Watch out for hot steam when you do this because it burns like a mother!
- Place in oven and bake for 30 minutes or until crusty and browned. (You may need to take smaller shapes out earlier, so keep an eye on them!)
- Cool completely.
- Cut organic paint shapes from the "palette" using a serrated knife and dig out a little bowl for your dips. Save any bread that you pull out; you'll need it later 'cause it makes good eats!
- Spoon dips into each little bowl and serve with veggies and the extra bread. When you run out of dippers you can just start tearing your palette into delicious little pieces! Cheesy

Recipes for Dips in rainbow colors!

RED: Roasted Red Pepper And Eggplant Tapenade

2 medium eggplants, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch thick slices
2 large red peppers, cut in half, with seeds and stems removed
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbls. fresh basil
1 Tbls. fresh oregano
2 tsp. red pepper flakes
3 Tbls. olive oil
Salt and pepper

Place eggplant and peppers on a grill or under the broiler.
Cook until slightly charred, turning once.
Remove from heat, peel skin from peppers, and set aside.
In a food processor, pulse garlic and herbs until finely chopped.
Add peppers and eggplant, season with salt and pepper, and pulse to chop.
Add oil and blend until just combined.

ORANGE: Savory Sweet Pumpkin Dip
1 small can, or 1 cup cooked, pureed pumpkin
1 large golden delicious apple, diced small
1 medium onion, diced small
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 Tbls. butter
1/4 cup chicken broth
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

In a sauce pan, melt butter.
Over medium-high heat, cook onion until translucent.
Add apple and cook until just softened.
Add nutmeg, cinnamon, garlic, and salt and pepper to taste.
Add pumpkin and cook for 2-3 minutes, stirring to avoid burning.
Add half of the chicken broth and cook 2-3 minutes.
If dip is very thick, you may need to add the rest of the broth and cook another few minutes.

YELLOW: Garlic Yogurt Sauce
1 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
Juice and zest of 1 lemon
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp. kosher salt
3 drops yellow food coloring

Blend all ingredients well and serve cold. You could actually color this with any shade since it's white anyway. I was too lazy to make the yellow corn dip below!

YELLOW Option 2: Chipotle Corn Dip
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon chipotle chile powder
1/2 cup diced fresh tomato
2 cups frozen corn kernels, defrosted
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 cup finely shredded mild cheddar cheese
1/2 cup finely shredded Monterey Jack cheese

Melt the butter in a medium-size skillet over medium-high heat, and cook the onion, garlic, cumin and chile powder, stirring, until you can smell the spices and the onion begins to soften, 2 to 3 minutes.
Add the tomato and corn, and toss once or twice to coat with the onion mixture.
Transfer to a medium-size bowl and allow to cool.
Stir in the sour cream, mayonnaise and cheese.
Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours or overnight to let the flavors develop.

GREEN: Sweet Pea and Onion Spread
2 cups fresh or frozen (thawed) peas
1 small red onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
Juice and zest of 1 lemon
2 Tbls. olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Add all ingredients to a food processor and pulse until combined. Again feel free to puree it, but I like a little texture.
** Guacamole would also make a good green!

BLUE: Blue Cheese Fondue (I didn't have room on my palette for this, but it is delicious!)
1 lb. Blue Cheese (crumbled)
1 cup nonfat milk
2 Tbls. butter
2 Tbls. flour
1 Tbls. nonfat sour cream
1/8 tsp. nutmeg
Blue food coloring

Crumble Blue Cheese and set aside.
Add butter to a small pot over medium-low heat.
Stir in flour, then milk.
Slowly add crumbled Blue Cheese while stirring.
Turn up the heat to high and stir in nutmeg.
As the fondue starts to bubble but before it boils, lower the heat and add the sour cream and a few drops of food coloring to make it nice and blue.

Hope you all enjoy it; we sure did!

Print the Recipes!

Giveaway Time!

Thanks to two much needed and thoroughly enjoyed summer vacations and the recent move into our new home, my blogging has fallen a bit behind! I promise to update soon with some fun new recipes, a couple of DIY projects and a slew of summertime fun photos! Meanwhile, I am excited to announce my second giveaway! Since the first one went so well, I'm hoping for an even better response this time around!

Large Format Posters offers poster printing or custom poster printing on their website. "Here at Large Format Posters, we love photos as much as you do. And we all have plenty of them lying around, right? Well, now is your chance to enlarge that special photo you’ve been wanting to display. The photo can be of anything you want, as long it will make you happy to see it enlarged!"

For this giveaway they are offering a High-gloss or Semi-gloss 18x24" Digitally Printed Poster for you (a $25 value). The printing and shipping is free, however, there are three disclaimers! One, you must have a high resolution photo available for your print, two, there is a $5 handling fee, and three, the giveaway is only open to residents of the U.S. and Canada. If you are unwilling to pay the fee, or do live in the U.S. or Canada, please do note enter the giveaway!

I am considering using my print for another wedding photo, but I can't decide! I don't want our living room to look like a shrine to our wedding! 18X24" is pretty big! Here are some options:







To enter all you have to do is leave me a comment about what picture of your own you would like to have enlarged. For a second entry, leave another comment to let me know which of my photos you think would make the best poster print. And for a third entry, post about this giveaway on your blog with a link back to me. Come back and leave another comment telling me you've done this so I can enter you again! The contest will end August 6th at midnight EST. Best of luck to everyone who enters!

Summer Snapshots

There is only one thing I love more than summertime and that is summertime in Rhode Island. It's the beaches, yes, but it's also Del's lemonade, clam cakes and chowder, bonfires, and of course, time with the family. I miss my family to bits living way out here in the Midwest, and summer is one of the two times of year I get to spend lots of time at home. One of my favorite things to do is hang out with my nephews, with whom it is pretty clear to everyone, I am obsessed.

Not that I need an excuse to share photos of these cutie pies, but I got one in my email box today anyway. Uprinting.com, lovely hosts of my first giveaway, are sponsoring a summer photo contest. You should remember that UPrinting.com is a leading online provider of business cards, color brochures and mailing postcards.

Now the photo contest asks for one photo submission, but how can I choose? The above photo was taken of Nic in the backyard during Charlie's first birthday party. He's being attacked by the sprinkler, and I just can't get over his face! Actually, it's a volcano sprinkler, and he is sitting on it, so that may explain his reaction! I'll consider that photo the "official" entry, since it looks a little more photojournalistic, I guess. I can't resist showing you more though!

The next two were taken last summer at Sand Hill Cove, where we spent our honeymoon. Yes, we invited friends and family to the beach house the entire week of our honeymoon, and we had so much fun I wouldn't have had it any other way. This is Charlie taking a break in the shade, munching on a very juicy nectarine. That pout puts Derek Zoolander to shame!



This photo is of Nic's first time on a borrowed boogie board. Once he got on that thing it was impossible to get him out of the water! I love how it almost looks like he's surfing in this picture!



Thankfully, the countdown is on for our summer trip home! I can't wait to stuff my face with clams, chug D&D iced coffee, fight off a sunburn and get sand in my bikini. See you guys in July!

"All I need is food and creative love" Part Deux

I am a bargain hunter. When it comes to shopping for food, clothes, even nights out on the town, I plan ahead. I clip coupons from the newspaper, print them online, read grocery fliers, and keep my trusty Sam's Club card close. Unfortunately, even my best made plans often go awry. We eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables in our house, and the selection is usually determined by what's on sale. Sometimes though, I buy way too much. Eric often has unplanned meals out with clients, which can sometimes blow my dinner plans, leaving a bag of slowly wilting salad greens or a pint of mushy raspberries to rot. Nothing irritates me more than throwing away spoiled food. I'm now on a mission to never do it again. The "never" may come back to bite me, but I'm working on it. I'm getting good at creating recipes that include produce that has seen better days. Now, we're not talking fuzzy mold or slimy ick here. If you see that in your vegetable drawer, by all means, chuck it and fast! I'm just talking about spinach that is a little too wilted for a nice salad, or fruit that has gone a little soft. Here are some ways you can use up produce that is just past its prime.

If you have:
Spinach:
Yes you can always saute it up with a little olive oil and serve it as a side dish, but that gets old. I used a big bag of baby spinach and adapted a Martha Stewart Recipe for this Spinach Quinoa Bake. I added more vegetables and cut out several of the prep steps to simplify things. It was really delicious, and a fantastic vegetarian option. It was also a good way to help me figure out what the heck to do with quinoa, since I bought it for one dish and then felt lost. Now I love it!

Vegetables:
If you have carrots, peppers, squash, or even more spinach, soup is the easiest way to go! This recipe works well for leftovers as well as the stuff in the bottom of your crisper. Since it is pureed, you can use anything you want. Plus, its vegetarian, so you can please all of your friends with this one.
If you aren't into soups, Scrap Wraps are the way to go. All you need are some sandwich wraps and creativity. Saute up any veggies you want in a little olive oil. Then spread a whole wheat wrap with a little hummus, mayo, or anything you like and go crazy with toppings. I love whole wheat wraps with garlic hummus, sauteed onions and mushrooms, and roasted red peppers! You can even do sweet wraps when you have too many apples. Slice and saute them in a pan and wrap them with peanut butter and walnuts, yum!

Berries:
Overripe berries are the bane of my existence, since they can be very expensive and are often cheaper when bought in bulk. It's easy to toss them into a blender with some yogurt and whip up a smoothie, but a little more time and effort can give you more impressive results. A pint of quickly softening strawberries was turned into the Strawberry Key Lime Muffins you see above. They are so moist and sweet I'll be sending the rest of them to the office with Eric to stop myself from eating the whole batch. I then used a half pint of raspberries for the frosting of these Sweet Crescent Rolls. I'm a little late to the crescent roll party, but better late than never. I know people have used them forever and ever, but I'm just lately discovering their versatility. I also love that they are now available in a reduced fat version! We used to wrap them around hot dogs or ham and cheese to make lunches for Delaynie, but I like them sweet! The extra raspberry frosting can be refrigerated in an air tight container for several weeks, so you can use it for fresh fruit, vanilla cupcakes, or my favorite, brownies.